R.O.T.C.
Or "ROT CEE"
OR "AR-OH"-
Whatever you wanna call it- I wasn't that good at it. I mean, I could march. I kinda knew what my uniform was supposed to look like- I don't think I had the head for it at the time though, you know?
We spent a lot of time learning about the military and how it works. It was very informative. You'd be learning what stripes meant what. Chain of command. A little bit of Air Force history- shit like that.
I used to love it when Fiegenbaum would roll in puffing on his pipe. That shit smelled awesome- plus his class would be mostly zen like. You know- like some jedi master passing knowledge onto his padawan. This was a rare treat though because usually the class was taught and run by SGT. Killian.
Yes. His real name was Killian.
He was what they call- "a screamer". That comes with that whole "SGT" thing. You would be in the class all nervous and shit, hoping you didn't get called on to do something. And now- when I think back- I can't remember exactly what the hell we did in class with him. I just remember not wanting to be called for anything. I should have kept a journal back then...
The BIG thing I remember about ROT CEE is inspection Fridays.
Every Friday we would have these inspections where you would show up to class and immediately file out to line up in "flight".
Sgt. Killian would come down the line and slowly pick us apart. First he would stand in front of you- almost nose to nose, then leaning to the right and then back to the left.
He would call out errors one by one and his assistant- another student from the class who was some sort of leader or something- would mark them down.
"Gig. Haircut."
"Gig. Mustache."
"Gig. Wrinkles."
and if there were too many- it would cause him to go into tirade.
"Gig. Shoe shine. Gig. Gig line- GORDEN!"
"Sir! Yes Sir!"
"What's wrong with you, Gorden?"
"Sir! Nothing Sir!"
"Oh! Well, did you iron your shirt this morning?"
"Sir! Yes Sir!"
"Really? 'Cause it looks like you ironed your shirt with a brick, Gorden!"
"No sir!"
"And then it looks like you used that same brick to shine your shoes, Gorden!"
"Uh, no sir!"
"And do you know how to shave, Gorden!? Because you have more hair on your face than I do my chest, Gorden!-"
"I've never- uh-"
"Do you respect this uniform, Gorden!?"
"Sir! Yes Si-"
"I don't think you DO!-" he would shout, as he got so close to my face it felt as if my nose was tickling the back of his throat- "Because you look like a HOG, Gorden! YOU LOOK LIKE A HOG!!!"
Yeah.
And I would do ANYTHING not to be in uniform that day- I had excuses out the wazoo, lit it was at the cleaners or I needed to get a new shirt that fit better- which was ignorant because I would just have to wear my uniform on Monday and get inspected anyway, but there was a slight chance I would get inspected by a fellow student as opposed to Killian.
The other thing that kinda bugged me out is that, like any military organization- we had a ranking system- which is cool! I mean, you need ranks in the military- but it was especially weird to give this sort of- you know, POWER to one student over another one in High School. You know? 'Cause they don't know how to deal and whatnot. For the most part it was cool but you can imagine some of the shit that went down. It was a fuckin' soap opera.
I didn't realize then that the actual military would be the same in a lot of ways. Bottom line is- I got to do some cool shit. Marching was kinda fun. I met some cool people too.
Ron- who lived on my street was an ROTC dude as well and I was thankful to have him as he was the only other dude who grew up with us that was in with me. So I had someone I could relate to. His mother was a single parent, too so- even though my Mom had been with my step dad for a while at that point- I think we could relate on that level a little as well.
I don't know whatever happened to Killian or Col. F- In fact- after I did my three years of ROTC (enough to earn an extra stripe should I join the military) I got the fuck out. My senior year was spent in art classes and rolling out to lunch early and my Fridays belonged to me.
1.17.2009
Moment 001: It Begins
My father spent time in Vietnam.
He was shot down several times and earned more than a few medals (some of which he has yet to recieve credit for).
Now, I don't know the details of all his adventures- (for lack of a better word) because we didn't spend a lot of time together and the time we did have- well, it wasn't war story time.
My step mother told me yesterday that she is putting a book together of the stories that he told her. Apparently, he told her all the stories- several times.
This story was told to me by my birth mother long ago.
It seems that father and his crew had gotten separated in the jungle- it was probably after one of the times he was shot down. And so they were looking for each other.
I don't know how long they were apart but eventually the troops that were with my dad found their fellow soldiers hanging from trees. Their genitals had been cleaved from their bodies and placed in their mouths.
Angry and hell bent on revenge, the troops headed to the village they thought was responsible for this travesty and they did some pretty black things.
They didn't ask too many questions and they didn't show any mercy- not to the women, not to the young.
Dark, black things.
The crew made it back to base where my father was beside himself about the things he had done out in the jungle that day. It was then that he got a phone call about some news from stateside.
He was told that he had just become the father of a baby boy...me.
My mother told me that he had some very mixed feelings at the time and that's understandable. I never got to talk to my dad about any of this. I did try but I think the war was something that he didn't want to associate with me.
Tomorrow will be the first year anniversary of my father's death. He succumbed to a cancer that was brought on by Agent Orange.
You know? When you step back to look at your life, it's weird to see how the wheels have spun within all the circles you have created.
He was shot down several times and earned more than a few medals (some of which he has yet to recieve credit for).
Now, I don't know the details of all his adventures- (for lack of a better word) because we didn't spend a lot of time together and the time we did have- well, it wasn't war story time.
My step mother told me yesterday that she is putting a book together of the stories that he told her. Apparently, he told her all the stories- several times.
This story was told to me by my birth mother long ago.
It seems that father and his crew had gotten separated in the jungle- it was probably after one of the times he was shot down. And so they were looking for each other.
I don't know how long they were apart but eventually the troops that were with my dad found their fellow soldiers hanging from trees. Their genitals had been cleaved from their bodies and placed in their mouths.
Angry and hell bent on revenge, the troops headed to the village they thought was responsible for this travesty and they did some pretty black things.
They didn't ask too many questions and they didn't show any mercy- not to the women, not to the young.
Dark, black things.
The crew made it back to base where my father was beside himself about the things he had done out in the jungle that day. It was then that he got a phone call about some news from stateside.
He was told that he had just become the father of a baby boy...me.
My mother told me that he had some very mixed feelings at the time and that's understandable. I never got to talk to my dad about any of this. I did try but I think the war was something that he didn't want to associate with me.
Tomorrow will be the first year anniversary of my father's death. He succumbed to a cancer that was brought on by Agent Orange.
You know? When you step back to look at your life, it's weird to see how the wheels have spun within all the circles you have created.
1.16.2009
Moment 321: Night Riding
As a teen, there is nothing more liberating than having a set of wheels- Which I DIDN'T have but Gary did and often he would have me tag along with him as we would roll to the outskirts of the city in an effort to get lost.
We did this many times, mostly after a shift at Luther's (the BBQ place that employed us). Each time we did it, it was an adventure- and it is truly amazing I am alive today to tell you about some of them.
Once, after a shift, we found a back road way out in the boonies somewhere. Now, that little Monza probably couldn't go over 70 miles an hour but we were going a hell of a lot faster than we should have on those little roads.
The air was crisp and the windows were down. I could feel the loose dirt under the tires as we floated from side to side without any real traction. The combination of that and the speed we were traveling made it feel more like we were hoovering than driving.
Because that wasn't crazy enough, every now and again Gary would turn the lights out. Now, I don't know if you've ever been outside at night on the back roads of Texas but if you turn out the lights IT GETS PITCH BLACK! So you can't see shit!
Which I'll admit, at the time- that was really exciting. STUPID but exciting.
So we were doing that. Rolling at top speed with the lights out- barely making out what was ahead of us and feeling indestructible- When suddenly Gary hit the lights just in time to see we were heading headlong into a sharp hairpin turn. At the base of the turn was a thick ass tree- abnormal to Texas as it is my feeling that most trees in Texas are really more like big bushes than trees.
It is amazing how fast your brain works shit out in situations like this.
When that light came on- we instantly calculated that our speed + the angle of the turn + the slippery ass dirt road + the huge tree in front of us = big trouble.
Gary, being a math genius anyway was already way ahead of me and hit the brakes as he spun into the turn. We would have been able to make the turn if the dirt had been more forgiving but things being as they were, the car slid sideways towards the tree.
I closed my eyes and braced for the impact-
When I opened them again all I saw was a thick collection of limbs and leaves that had been jammed into the window and amazingly none of them had ripped my face off.
Apparently, as we slid towards the tree, this huge bushy limb had slowed the car and prevented us from hitting the trunk. There was no damage to the car. There was no damage to us. That limb was pretty fucked up though.
We laughed at our fortune and on the inside I thanked a higher power as we sped off.
Another time- we decided to take Jerry with us and because we had been talking about how much fun we were having tooling around out in the boonies- little Jeff wanted to come with us- He had to be about 9 at the time, maybe 10. Idunno how it was that this little kid was allowed to go riding with us 16 and 17 year olds but I guess we had a reputation of being good kids. Idunno.
So, its the lot of us and we are out on some road in the boonies between San Antonio and Hondo. We were speeding down some dirt road that was very hilly. If you drive some of these roads fast enough you get a real roller coaster feel out of it.
Yo. We were hauling ass on this road with the car bouncing all over, then it would plummet down the steep end of some hill with us laughing and grinning the whole time.
Then Gary turned the lights out- OH SHIT! We'd roll for a bit and then Lights on. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
Then the lights would go out again.
After a bit we slid to a halt. Breathing hard and taking in the excitement of it all.
"Let's go again!" Jerry said.
"You wanna?" Gary replied.
"Yeah!" I agreed.
"Idunno- I think we should go home." Jeff threw in.
We all laughed. Even Jeff, albeit a bit more nervously than he would have liked. Gary spun the car around and we headed home giggling the whole way.
Again, we went rolling a lot and it wasn't always about trying to get ourselves killed. A lot of the time, we would have deep discussions about life and whatnot- at least- you know, what little we knew about it.
There was one night we went out riding that I will never forget. We didn't speed. We didnt' slide across any loose dirt roads. We didn't almost hit a tree or careen too fast down a hill.
We came across this vast onion field. The night was perfect and the smell of the onion field was amazing. All of it sat under a Texas sky littered with stars that shone brightly through the darkness- kinda like the whole universe was sprawled out above us.
I feel I really can't describe that night because words seem to fall short of how beautiful it really was.
I don't remember us saying much- just taking in how cool everything was. It was so...peaceful.
Idunno.
Night Riding was the shit.
We did this many times, mostly after a shift at Luther's (the BBQ place that employed us). Each time we did it, it was an adventure- and it is truly amazing I am alive today to tell you about some of them.
Once, after a shift, we found a back road way out in the boonies somewhere. Now, that little Monza probably couldn't go over 70 miles an hour but we were going a hell of a lot faster than we should have on those little roads.
The air was crisp and the windows were down. I could feel the loose dirt under the tires as we floated from side to side without any real traction. The combination of that and the speed we were traveling made it feel more like we were hoovering than driving.
Because that wasn't crazy enough, every now and again Gary would turn the lights out. Now, I don't know if you've ever been outside at night on the back roads of Texas but if you turn out the lights IT GETS PITCH BLACK! So you can't see shit!
Which I'll admit, at the time- that was really exciting. STUPID but exciting.
So we were doing that. Rolling at top speed with the lights out- barely making out what was ahead of us and feeling indestructible- When suddenly Gary hit the lights just in time to see we were heading headlong into a sharp hairpin turn. At the base of the turn was a thick ass tree- abnormal to Texas as it is my feeling that most trees in Texas are really more like big bushes than trees.
It is amazing how fast your brain works shit out in situations like this.
When that light came on- we instantly calculated that our speed + the angle of the turn + the slippery ass dirt road + the huge tree in front of us = big trouble.
Gary, being a math genius anyway was already way ahead of me and hit the brakes as he spun into the turn. We would have been able to make the turn if the dirt had been more forgiving but things being as they were, the car slid sideways towards the tree.
I closed my eyes and braced for the impact-
When I opened them again all I saw was a thick collection of limbs and leaves that had been jammed into the window and amazingly none of them had ripped my face off.
Apparently, as we slid towards the tree, this huge bushy limb had slowed the car and prevented us from hitting the trunk. There was no damage to the car. There was no damage to us. That limb was pretty fucked up though.
We laughed at our fortune and on the inside I thanked a higher power as we sped off.
Another time- we decided to take Jerry with us and because we had been talking about how much fun we were having tooling around out in the boonies- little Jeff wanted to come with us- He had to be about 9 at the time, maybe 10. Idunno how it was that this little kid was allowed to go riding with us 16 and 17 year olds but I guess we had a reputation of being good kids. Idunno.
So, its the lot of us and we are out on some road in the boonies between San Antonio and Hondo. We were speeding down some dirt road that was very hilly. If you drive some of these roads fast enough you get a real roller coaster feel out of it.
Yo. We were hauling ass on this road with the car bouncing all over, then it would plummet down the steep end of some hill with us laughing and grinning the whole time.
Then Gary turned the lights out- OH SHIT! We'd roll for a bit and then Lights on. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!
Then the lights would go out again.
After a bit we slid to a halt. Breathing hard and taking in the excitement of it all.
"Let's go again!" Jerry said.
"You wanna?" Gary replied.
"Yeah!" I agreed.
"Idunno- I think we should go home." Jeff threw in.
We all laughed. Even Jeff, albeit a bit more nervously than he would have liked. Gary spun the car around and we headed home giggling the whole way.
Again, we went rolling a lot and it wasn't always about trying to get ourselves killed. A lot of the time, we would have deep discussions about life and whatnot- at least- you know, what little we knew about it.
There was one night we went out riding that I will never forget. We didn't speed. We didnt' slide across any loose dirt roads. We didn't almost hit a tree or careen too fast down a hill.
We came across this vast onion field. The night was perfect and the smell of the onion field was amazing. All of it sat under a Texas sky littered with stars that shone brightly through the darkness- kinda like the whole universe was sprawled out above us.
I feel I really can't describe that night because words seem to fall short of how beautiful it really was.
I don't remember us saying much- just taking in how cool everything was. It was so...peaceful.
Idunno.
Night Riding was the shit.
1.15.2009
Moment 286: Introducing Col. Fiegenbaum
It was the 8th grade Job Fair thingy- You know, when a buncha parents and other adults roll into your classroom and talk about how great their jobs are in order to inspire you to do something with your life.
Honestly, I don't remember ANY of the jobs that were presented to me. I mean, I remember being able to pick different classes to go to in order to hear about these great jobs but I couldn't tell you what I chose, who I saw or anything interesting I heard that day. I'm sure there were some good things about the day- I just don't remember what they were.
HOWEVER- I DO remember that at the end of the day the teacher had us all in the classroom and announced that one more dude was gonna come talk to us. He was the instructor for the ROTC program at the High School I was going to attend.
Now- I had no idea what the hell ROTC was so I was doubly shocked when this man walked in the room dressed in an Air Force uniform smoking on a pipe.
He was a short, olive skinned man and almost Yoda-like in his demeanor.
I don't remember what he said EXACTLY but he did have a lot of good things to say about ROTC and how it would be a benefit to be a part of the organization should you decide to make the military a career choice.
He's name was Col. Fiegenbaum- now, I'm sure I don't remember how to spell that right but I remember his words making a lot of sense.
I remember his description of ROTC being somewhat enticing.
I also remember the smell of his pipe floating to the back of the room where my friends and I were laughing our asses off at the idea of ever joining the military.
We were still giggling when got on the bus on the way home- telling each other funny stories and doing funny skits about how crazy it would be to be in ROTC and the military.
I took the pamphlet on ROTC he gave us and stuck it deep in my folder and then jammed that to the rear of my backpack. This was not going to happen to me. I was an artist. Creative first and foremost AND it was gonna stay that way.
So I get home and as I'm walking across the yard I see my Mom has just gotten home herself and she's at the mail box. I was very excited to tell her all the funny jokes we were making at the back of the class as the Col. spoke- but before I could get my mouth open good, what does she pull out of the mailbox? ANOTHER COPY OF THE PAMPHLET HE GAVE US IN THE CLASSROOM!
"Ooooo Kim! Look at this."
"Yeah, Ma- we were talking about that at school-"
"Look, it says if you do 3 years of ROTC in High School you will get an extra stripe if you join the military-"
"Unh-hunh- Gary was laughing because-"
"Seriously Kim, this is really good. You gotta do this. If you pass something like this up I don't think I would talk to you again."
She handed me the pamphlet and made her way to the house as she continued to shuffle through the rest of the mail commenting on each little piece under her breath.
I followed slowly behind her flipping the pamphlet in my hand. I thought about all the shit my family had gone through to get where we were- we weren't rich but we were nicely middle class up from rolling into Texas with nothing but the clothes we had in the trunk.
It WOULD break her heart if she thought I was being cavalier about my future.
I mean, I didn't have any plans to really be in the military- but it would be a nice backup- AND I did have two electives as a freshman so I could take Art and ROTC...
The decision was made. Now I just had to figure out how I was gonna live this down with all those dudes I was giggling with earlier in the day.
Honestly, I don't remember ANY of the jobs that were presented to me. I mean, I remember being able to pick different classes to go to in order to hear about these great jobs but I couldn't tell you what I chose, who I saw or anything interesting I heard that day. I'm sure there were some good things about the day- I just don't remember what they were.
HOWEVER- I DO remember that at the end of the day the teacher had us all in the classroom and announced that one more dude was gonna come talk to us. He was the instructor for the ROTC program at the High School I was going to attend.
Now- I had no idea what the hell ROTC was so I was doubly shocked when this man walked in the room dressed in an Air Force uniform smoking on a pipe.
He was a short, olive skinned man and almost Yoda-like in his demeanor.
I don't remember what he said EXACTLY but he did have a lot of good things to say about ROTC and how it would be a benefit to be a part of the organization should you decide to make the military a career choice.
He's name was Col. Fiegenbaum- now, I'm sure I don't remember how to spell that right but I remember his words making a lot of sense.
I remember his description of ROTC being somewhat enticing.
I also remember the smell of his pipe floating to the back of the room where my friends and I were laughing our asses off at the idea of ever joining the military.
We were still giggling when got on the bus on the way home- telling each other funny stories and doing funny skits about how crazy it would be to be in ROTC and the military.
I took the pamphlet on ROTC he gave us and stuck it deep in my folder and then jammed that to the rear of my backpack. This was not going to happen to me. I was an artist. Creative first and foremost AND it was gonna stay that way.
So I get home and as I'm walking across the yard I see my Mom has just gotten home herself and she's at the mail box. I was very excited to tell her all the funny jokes we were making at the back of the class as the Col. spoke- but before I could get my mouth open good, what does she pull out of the mailbox? ANOTHER COPY OF THE PAMPHLET HE GAVE US IN THE CLASSROOM!
"Ooooo Kim! Look at this."
"Yeah, Ma- we were talking about that at school-"
"Look, it says if you do 3 years of ROTC in High School you will get an extra stripe if you join the military-"
"Unh-hunh- Gary was laughing because-"
"Seriously Kim, this is really good. You gotta do this. If you pass something like this up I don't think I would talk to you again."
She handed me the pamphlet and made her way to the house as she continued to shuffle through the rest of the mail commenting on each little piece under her breath.
I followed slowly behind her flipping the pamphlet in my hand. I thought about all the shit my family had gone through to get where we were- we weren't rich but we were nicely middle class up from rolling into Texas with nothing but the clothes we had in the trunk.
It WOULD break her heart if she thought I was being cavalier about my future.
I mean, I didn't have any plans to really be in the military- but it would be a nice backup- AND I did have two electives as a freshman so I could take Art and ROTC...
The decision was made. Now I just had to figure out how I was gonna live this down with all those dudes I was giggling with earlier in the day.
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