Like I said before-
We used to live in a small trailer-sized apartment that was kinda connected to Mr. Fred's house- who lived next door to my Grandma.
We were hiding out from my real father because we didn't know how he was going to act when he was around. It was kinda like hiding right underneath his nose and we shoulda known that the cover was gonna get blown sometime.
I don't remember a lot of the details here because:
1- As a 5 year-old I'm sure I wasn't told a lot of the details.
AND
2- Did I mention I was 5?
I feel like we stayed there for a while though-
I remember watching a story on the news about a singer who died from choking on a sandwich while we stayed in that apartment. My mother had to explain it to me and I remember it being really odd for someone to be gone because of a sandwich and it felt- sad.
I also remember standing outside of that place on a New Year's evening and watching fireworks fill the sky- I'm pretty sure that was 1974's first day.
Now- my mother had been dating my step father for a bit around then and it was often that my brother and I would stay the night over at my Grandma's while she and he would go out at night and then retire there to- get to know each other a little better.
It was one morning after such a night that my grandmother looked out the window and saw my biological Dad's car pull up- she panicked and moved from curtain to curtain as my Dad walked past my Grandma's house in a bee-line towards that little trailer-sized apartment.
I bolt of fear struck my body and the energy from it just sat with me as I watched my grandmother fret-
It was that special kind of fear that children have when they see- and feel- that everything is not okay in their parent's world.
My grandmother paced back and forth-
chanting "Oh Lord, oh lord...Oh!" over and over to herself, under her breath- wiping her forehead and placing her hand over her mouth.
I watched her and I just knew the world was gonna end- you know?
Then, BLAM!
I had never heard a gunshot before- I'm sure I knew what a gun was- but I didn't know what that sound was. It was loud. It was scary and it meant something BAD had happened.
Before I knew it- I was streaking in the direction of the noise calling after my mother.
"KIM!" My Grandmother screamed out after me but I was already off the porch and around the corner.
When I got to the apartment my Dad and the man who would be my Step Dad were tussling. My mother scooped me up and was backing out as she yelled at the two men to stop.
That's when my Grandma busted in and somehow between she and my step dad they got my father wrestled down away from his gun.
My Grandmother sat on my dad 'til the cops came and took him away.
Sometime later- and I really don't know how long- it feels like a couple of days, there was talk of moving to Texas with this man who had fought off my dad.
Apparently- he had to go there because he was in the military- we didn't know if we were going to go with him, though.
One night after dinner, around this time- I remember being on the steps outside of that little place with a wishbone that I had split with my brother-
I turned and looked at the winning end of the bone and wished aloud to myself that we would go to this place called Texas- I felt that wish very strongly.
It wasn't long after that wish that we had everything we owned in the back of my Pop's Caddy and were headed to San Antonio.
It was a move that saved my life and made me what I am today- of that I am absolutely SURE.
I didn't know it then but it would be decades later before I would see my father again- at the time, I was very thankful.
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